Posted November 7th, 2023

“Your mind is not broken, and your feelings are not symptoms or uncontrollable variables to be masked or managed. I would like you to consider for a moment that you have complete and total control over what you think and how you feel…”

There are so many resources today to help you better manage your mental health. From adaptogens, meditation apps, and fitness routines to trauma-informed care and support groups, you can find almost anything you might need to face your wellness struggles. But I would like to talk about your mind. Yes, your actual thoughts and feelings. Because your mind is not broken, and your feelings are not symptoms or uncontrollable variables to be masked or managed. I would like you to consider for a moment that you have complete and total control over what you think and how you feel. All it takes, is a little time and habit training to see this for yourself.

If you’ve spent any time getting to know my brand, Violstones, you may notice that I have several themes that my stones represent, targeting certain thought patterns and positive intentions. In fact, there are 14 themes currently in my collection, with 5 of them focused on binding or replacing negative thought patterns, which I’ve personally dealt with in my mental health battle with depression:

• Shame
• Anger
• Envy
• Fear
• Sadness

In my experience, these are the core negative feelings that contribute to the unbearable experience of depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders. (Though, I only have personal experience with depression, so I can only speak from that perspective).

For me, Sadness represents the moments when I feel hopeless; it is the deepest part of my depression when I feel that my mental illness has taken so much of my time and energy that I’ve missed out on some of my life.

Shame relates to the worthlessness I’ve carried with me through the years. It is the reason I feel like a burden to everyone around me. Which in turn can keep me from seeking the support I deserve.

Anger shows up as my self-hatred and rage towards the people who have harmed me in any way. In my particular case, most, if not all, of my anger was unexpressed for most of my life. There’s a misconception that if we don’t express the emotion, it will just go away. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. As a therapist once told me, “Anger unexpressed only gets turned inward.”

Envy manifests in me as imposter syndrome– looking at everyone else in my life and feeling that somehow I’ve fallen short. I also end up blaming myself for my illness, ultimately feeling insecure, inadequate, and unfit for this life.

Fear can show up as perfectionism, which I actively work to overcome. It’s being afraid to try anything new because I’m sure I’ll fail, being afraid to talk to people because of social anxiety, and a lack of self-trust because I fear what I could do to myself on a bad day.

These 5 themes were imperative for me to tackle first. I needed to feel I had some power over them. Thus, the vision of “binding” these feelings developed. Externalizing them into the crystals was a visual way to distance myself from those feelings. The act of physically wrapping and binding them in metal helped me see that I had autonomy over these heavy feelings.

The further I went on my spiritual journey, the more I recognized that God did not see me as I saw myself. This visualization practice was a way for me to start adopting a mindset that was more aligned with God’s mindset. It helped me to remember my true identity, which is beloved by Him, fully equipped with all I could ever need to overcome the struggles I faced.

But when you bind negative thoughts and take them captive (more on that here), it is necessary to replace those negative habitual patterns with Truth, positivity, and hope. This is how I developed the positive themes. The positive themes in my collection are:

• Fatih
• Grace
• Love
• Mercy
• Honesty
• Dreams
• Strength
• Peace
• Joy

You’ll notice there are nearly twice as many positive themes as negative ones– a 2:1 ratio. This is because when your mind naturally tends toward negative feelings, as is human nature, you must work harder to train the mind to focus on the light. Each of these themes targets the negative feelings we just listed and can be use as their counterparts.

Faith is needed to combat Fear, trusting in God when I feel uncertain and worried; Grace works to minimize my sadness, to help me accept my journey for what it is; while Love works to fight Envy or self-comparison, reminding me how treasured I am in God’s eyes.

Mercy works with Anger, allowing me to approach my breached boundaries and intense feelings with gentleness and empathy for those who have crossed me.

And finally, Stength, based on verse 2 Corinthians 12:9, which says, “His strength is made perfect in weakness…” is used to work on Shame. It has shown me that there is power in loving and tending to my weaknesses.

The rest of the themes, Honesty, Peace, Joy, and Dreams are lifestyle reminders. Honesty gives me the courage to be open about this whole journey and my testimony, and in modeling this, I’ve seen it empower others to do the same for themselves. Peace has allowed me to choose mindfulness and encourages me to honor what brings me peace and step away from what disturbs it.

Dreams serve to motivate me even when my goals seem out of reach. It’s a reminder that it’s never too late, and all it takes is some ambition, effort, and consistency.

Joy helps me prioritize the things in life that make me smile and laugh. One of the worst parts of depression is the way it sucks away the pleasure from every experience, but this theme is a gentle reminder that it is my job to cultivate good feelings for myself. Joy doesn’t just happen. It is a choice, one that I have found to be the most transformative of all.

Everything I’ve developed as a part of Violstones has allowed me to share the healing love of God and the hope of an emotionally healthy future. Of course, we are all on different paths and in different stages of our journey, and the Christian faith component may not be for everyone. However, my true objective is to spread hope in whatever capacity, however that looks to you.

I know what it is to be trapped in your own negative thoughts without any way to change how you feel. But I promise you, the opposite is true. You can balnce your mental health with your thoughts. Make the choice with me– 2 positives for every negative. Let’s discover all the possibilities of this beautiful journey together!

What do you think about these themes? Would you add any others? What has helped you balance your mental health in the past? Let me know in the comments below.

Til next time,

Take care!